


Alone Together

by InfoInfo209



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crackship Hell, F/F, I typed in A and that was the first result God bless this site, Light Angst, NicoUmi, Rare Pairings, Stage Kiss, Teen Angst, UmiNico, Valentine's, Valentine's Day, Yuri, rarepair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8005915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfoInfo209/pseuds/InfoInfo209
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What started off as a joke kiss between Umi and Nico has now turned into an intense emotional predicament. That is both an accurate summary of the plot AND the writing process! To celebrate Valentine’s Day, I’m breaking up every pairing that stands in the way of these two characters who barely spoke. Get ready for the best (only) got-danged V-Day UmiNico fic of 2016. (Note: May or may not have been finished two days before August.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone Together

It was only a few days before Valentine’s Day, and Umi felt like her entire world was falling apart. She found herself standing in front of her shoe locker, glancing achingly down at her shoes and trying to decide whether or not she should just walk out on Idol practice today and hide away from the world until the weekend passed. Rin and Hanayo were already out of practice for a Valentine’s Day dinner at the fancy new rice place that had opened in town, so it wouldn’t be like she was the only one dodging. She could get away with it if she really wanted to. With a resigned sigh, she reached down and picked up her shoes, holding them hesitantly in her hands for a moment.

Before she could begin to bend down and put them on, however, she was startled by an unexpected voice from the end of the room, which caused her to drop them onto the floor with a muted clatter. Turning to the sound of the person who had called her name, she saw Nozomi standing with a cheerful smile spread across her face, waving a hand in the air and quickly making her way over to Umi’s locker. “I thought I would find you here,” she said, “An awful lot of people weren’t showing, so I don’t think practice is going to work out today. I just wanted to let you know.”

Umi glared at her, partially blaming her for the incident that led her to this sticky situation in the first place. “I know,” she grimaced, “I was one of those people. I know that can’t possibly be the only reason you’re here.” She let out a mild groan, leaning down to pick up her discarded shoes again and replacing them in her locker. Nozomi had thrown off her rhythm. After this was all over, she’d probably have to muster up the resolve to leave all over again… and by that point, Kotori would probably find her.

Nozomi pouted, rummaging through her handbag as she spoke. “I don’t like it when you’re mad at me… but you’re right, at least. I actually came because I wanted to give you something.” When she finally pulled a folded up scrap of paper from the bag, she held it out to Umi with a triumphant “ta-dah!” and a passive explanation. “I think this should help you out with your problem.”

Umi took the paper from her, raising a brow with a bit of confusion as she unfolded it, unsure what was supposed to be so impressive about it. Written on the inside was a classroom along with a time, only about half an hour from the present moment.

Before she could even ask, Nozomi continued explaining herself. “It’s an appointment,” she said, as proud of herself as she almost always seemed to be, “Alone, with Nicocchi. I hear that’s a tough commodity to come by nowadays.”

The kiss between the blue-haired archer and the twin-tailed idol superstar wannabe had occurred only a few days earlier. It had started off as a kind of demented joke and now the whole thing had spiraled out of control. The thing that made Umi cringe the most whenever she thought about it was how Kotori had been reacting. She didn’t show any outward negativity towards either one of them – she never showed any outward negativity ever – but it was apparent that she was trying her hardest to keep the two of them separated. “Umi-chan, you were going to eat lunch with me today, right?” or “Umi-chan, I bought an extra ticket to the movies tonight, if you’re free.” It was all very calculated. If there was one thing that Kotori was very good at, it would be keeping a friendly poker face and hiding any and all ulterior motives. The fact that she was good at many other things as well honestly just made her a bit scary at times.

The kiss itself was actually partially Kotori’s doing, along with Nozomi, of course. It was a bit difficult to tell which one of them was the true mastermind behind the whole nasty operation, but Nozomi was the one who did all the talking and who seemed much more pleased with herself over the course of its execution. In secret, the two of them had teamed up to become the writer-director duo behind a play called “Valentine’s Day Kissy-Kissy Romance Love Love Story of Lovey-Dovey Love.” Nozomi claimed elatedly that it would take the theatrical world by storm. In actuality, it was lame. The whole thing was a transparent attempt to make as many people uncomfortable as possible. It obviously took more than a little bit of cunning manipulation to get the rest of µ’s to agree to perform in this masterpiece of modern storytelling, but, between the two of them, they had cunning manipulation in spades.

This was how Umi found herself onstage opposite Maki one fateful day, frantically trying to keep her eyes from peeking out over the audience comprised of all her friends sitting in a row behind the two leaders of this madcap circus. Umi was driven to stunned silence out of the intense fear of doing this in the first place, but Maki still had some fight left in her to the very end. “Do we even need a kissing scene?” the heiress complained, “This dumb holiday is just an excuse to sell chocolates anyway.” Even in her panicked state, it was pretty clear to Umi that Maki’s smug spiel was an attempt to underplay that she was just as nervous about this whole set-up as she was.

“Of course we need a kissing scene!” Nozomi shouted through her megaphone, even though her voice was plenty loud enough on its own, especially considering she and Kotori were sitting in the front row of the auditorium, “I’m surprised at you, Maki-chan! Don’t you feel the love! I think you two have a lot of chemistry!” Maki had to visibly restrain herself to keep from letting out a surprised whine. It was clear to Umi that neither she nor Maki were going to be able to weasel their way out of this now. They were too late. Nozomi’s teasing had already broken down their strength. It was too easy for her to work them under her thumb like that, which was assuredly part of the reason they were the ones up there right now.

Of course, that wasn’t the only reason… Seated on the far end of the audience’s second row, at just enough of an angle that Nozomi could catch her out of the corner of her eye without arousing any suspicion that she was watching her, Nico sat tapping her toes and holding her head up indignantly. Her eyes flicked over the stage every once in a while with her arms crossed over her chest. When Umi and Maki began to make their awkward attempts to bring their heads closer to each other (which only somehow ended up with them even farther apart then they were to begin with), Nico’s face twisted into a horrified scowl. It was pretty clear that if the kiss actually went off, Nico would probably scream. It was even clearer that if that happened, Nozomi would probably die of laughter. At least three people in the room would faint.

Therefore, it wasn’t very long at all before Nico stood up and shouted for the two of them to stop. “This pitiful act has gone on long enough!” she shouted, stomping her foot firmly on the ground before angrily marching her way around to the front of Nozomi and Kotori, placing her hands on her hips and shouting at the purple-haired senior. “It’s obvious that neither of these two are qualified for this! This is simply unprofessional, and I won’t sit here and watch it! If you want this scene to go on, you should get someone who can actually act… like me!”

Nico stood with a smug grin now, mugging for Nozomi as if she were auditioning. Umi was convinced that she would have pulled out actual headshots if she had any. For once, Umi was thankful for Nico’s nigh-perpetual impertinence. If there was one person haughty enough to cause a perverse enough scene just to put a stop to this play so late in the game, it was Nico Yazawa.

Nozomi sighed, “Well, I guess you have a point… Director, what do you think?” She turned to Kotori with a knowing smile.

Kotori smiled far less transparently – the same smile that she always wore – as she replied, “If Nico-chan wants to try the scene herself, I think we should let her.” Nozomi and Kotori had already learned how to communicate telepathically, it seemed. If she wasn’t already busy freaking out about being on stage at the center of everyone’s attention during such an embarrassing spectacle, Umi would have no doubt been terrified of that instead.

Nozomi nodded at Kotori, turning back to Nico and clapping excitedly. “Alright, then! It looks like you’ve passed with flying colors! You’re our new star, Nicocchi!”

Nico laughed, holding her head up high. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

“Maki-chan, come switch places with Nicocchi!”

This time, Maki did let out her surprised “ehhh?!” but it was overwhelmed by the disgruntled cry of “What!?” from Nico. The whole room had erupted into a commotion of gossiping and laughter. It was a certified bloodbath.

“What’s the matter, Nicocchi?” Nozomi said, feigning innocence and ignoring the chorale of voices all around her, “I know you were probably expecting to be the pretty princess, but surely playing Maki’s suave prince character wouldn’t be hard at all for a professional like you, right?” Kotori only sat still with silent satisfaction, looking straight up at Umi with that same old smile, forever unflinching. The tension in the room was palpable.

With a huff, Nico wordlessly stomped up on stage, passing Maki on the way up. Maki’s face was unreadable at the moment, torn between the same despair over the situation that Nico must have been feeling and the relief that at least she didn’t have to kiss anyone anymore. Once she arrived on stage, Nico looked over the room one more time and then turned to Umi. “Alright, then. Let’s show them how this is done.”

Honestly, it seemed a bit easier to deliver her lines this time around. For one thing, Nico’s pompous assurance that this was all an act did make it slightly more comfortable. This wasn’t a big deal, right? It was all an act. None of this meant anything. They were performers; they were professionals and there was nothing more to it. If anything, this would help her get over her stage fright before concerts. It was simply a training exercise to help her out of her comfort zone. Furthermore, it didn’t exactly make things harder that most of everyone’s attention was now on Nico first and foremost. That obviously came with the exception of Kotori. None of the forces involved seemed to expect what came next, however.

It was quick. Nico stepped forward and stood up on the tips of her feet, wrapping her arms under Umi’s and cupping her hands around the boney ridges of her shoulders, pulling her in close and pressing their lips together. It was a forceful kiss, which was to be expected, considering how fast she was attempting to close the gap between them, and yet… it got softer. When the impact first occurred, Umi opened her eyes wide in surprise, even though she saw it coming to begin with, but still… she closed them. It went on longer than anyone anticipated. To everyone’s surprise, mostly the two of them, this one-and-done act had somehow turned into a real kiss.

At least some part of Umi still realized that people were watching them, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away. It was all too comfortable. It felt like she belonged there in that kiss. It was like the moment after hitting the alarm and not wanting to leave the warm comforts of a soft bed. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, which were still hanging awkwardly in mid-air next to her, but even that felt strangely right.

They seemed to both intrinsically realize when the kiss had come to a reasonable conclusion because their eyes both drifted open at the same time and their lips slowly came apart once again. The two of their faces were surely burning red – as she looked at Nico she could see that they very nearly matched her deep scarlet eyes – but Umi still couldn’t tear her gaze away from the shorter girl. Nico was the one who turned away almost immediately, painfully aware that everyone in the audience understood everything that was going on.

When Umi finally followed her lead, turning her head to the audience and looking over everyone’s faces, seeing the shock and surprise, she almost felt like she was going to be sick. There wasn’t anywhere to hide, or else she most definitely would have. Finally bringing her eyes to the front row, she saw that Nozomi was beaming like an absolute madman and Kotori…

Kotori was gone.

This was trouble.

–

In the present, Umi groaned once again, slumping down to the floor with her back to the lockers, curling her legs up against her chest. “I don’t get it…” she said to Nozomi, if only because she seemed to be the most supportive person to her right now, which was probably not a very good omen after all, “Kotori was never the type to get jealous like this.”

It honestly would have really pissed her off if she wasn’t just so disheartened by it all. She had barely spoken to Nico before this, and most of that was roping her in when she got too rambunctious. She was quite frankly a pest most of the time. It’s not like she was so shallow that a single kiss could completely flip her perspective on someone like that. How could her closest friend think she liked Nico of all people? She couldn’t possibly like Nico! Nico was just a friend and a bandmate… a friend and bandmate who she thought about kissing a lot and who kept her up at night thinking about her and oh, dear God, she liked Nico.

Nozomi took a seat beside Umi, meeting her at eye level. Umi continued venting to her, which felt strangely safe. Nozomi was trustworthy in the same way that Kotori was – you could afford to tell her all your secrets because she most likely already knew them. “It’s not like I haven’t had a crush before. Kotori never got upset back when I liked-” She stopped herself, realizing that perhaps she had already revealed too much.

As if to confirm her suspicions, Nozomi finished the second-year’s statement for her. “When you liked Elicchi?” Umi blushed as she buried her face into her arms, trying to keep the all-knowing psychic from seeing her face right then. “Don’t worry. I already knew. One reason Kotori is acting different now is probably because Nico was pretty clearly just as smitten as you were. You and Nicocchi are both so cute when you have crushes; it’s part of the reason I’m helping you out right now.”

“What’s the other reason?” Umi said, lifting her face again, “I thought you were pretty close with Kotori now. She’s not going to be happy about you going behind her back like this.”

To Umi’s surprise, Nozomi actually laughed at that. It helped clear up the tense air that seemed to be continually building everywhere Umi went since the incident occurred in the first place. “Oh, Kotori didn’t even want the kiss to happen in the first place,” she said “She tried to hide it behind a joke, but she was pretty anxious about it. She told me, ‘Alright, but if you make Umi-chan kiss someone, I get to kiss Eli.’”

Umi raised a brow at this, a bit confused. “She wasn’t even in the play, though,” she said, “She was director.”

“I said the same thing,” Nozomi quipped, “She told me, 'Who said anything about the play?’” After this, she laughed some more. Nozomi’s impression of Kotori was so spot-on that it nearly made Umi shiver. Nozomi and Kotori got along almost too well, it seemed. If she weren’t dealing with her own drama right now, she probably would have been forced to tear them apart for the sake of everybody’s sanity.

Umi spread herself out a little bit, finally starting bit by bit to uncurl the ball into which she had bundled herself. “Are you sure you’re okay with this then? I’d be a bit more cautious about Kotori’s 'jokes’ if I were you…”

Nozomi wagged a finger through the air, triumphantly claiming her victory over Kotori. “I’ve already made preparations to hide Elicchi away on Valentine’s Day – somewhere that Kotori could never find her!”

“Meaning?”

“I gave her a free day trip to the spa.”

This time, Umi chuckled a little, finally beginning to loosen up around Nozomi. The older student’s teasing was at the very least useful for taking her mind off of the stress at hand, even if it had reasonably been its probable cause.

Perhaps sensing that some of the tensions were dissipating, Nozomi became serious again at the drop of a hat. It was seamless. Nozomi’s strength was being able to read a situation for all it was worth. It was how she made such a good fortune-teller, which was actually what she brought up now. “Besides, I did a reading on you and Nicocchi… Do you know what this card means?” With a flick of the wrist, she pulled out a single card and held it between her fingers, her hand completely steady between the two of them. From where she sat, Umi got a clear view of the card, which featured a skeletal knight on his massive white horse. Written on the bottom were the simple words, in English, “13 – death.”

“I-is that a threat?” Umi said, backing off a little bit as her faced twisted into a shocked slacked jaw.

Nozomi sighed, shaking her head side to side as she held the card completely still, continuing with her explanation. She was like a statue, firm and steadfast, in position and in speech. “Everybody always thinks the death card is so dark… It’s not fair. It’s actually a very pleasant card.” The way she spoke, it was almost as if she was offended on the card’s behalf. “What this card means is that you’re going to face a complete change – everything that you’ve known before is going to be flipped on its head, and I think you’re going to learn from it,” she finished with a cheerful smile and a tilt of the head towards Umi, “That’s just my professional opinion.”

Umi was pouting again, hearing this fortune being lauded upon her as if she didn’t have a choice in the matter. “But what if I don’t want to change? What if I’m happy with the way things are?” Her voice had raised a little, showing how impatient she had been growing with the whole situation.

“You mean with Kotori?” Nozomi said, filling in the blanks that Umi had perhaps subconsciously left unfilled.

It was true that Kotori was very close to her and had been since they were children. Kotori liked her, definitely. That much was certain. It wasn’t like she was against the idea of being with Kotori either, it just… never happened. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was that she couldn’t bring herself to say or why, but she knew that her relationship with Kotori was a fragile subject buried deep within her.

Umi’s silence was apparently all the confirmation that Nozomi needed to keep going with her reading. “Are you sure you’re really happy? Or have you just convinced yourself that it’d be so convenient to like Kotori the way she likes you that you’re letting everything else pass you by while you wait for that to happen?”

That was why Umi couldn’t bring herself to admit her true feelings, even to herself. It was because they made her feel awful. How was Nozomi so smart that she could just reach so far down into Umi’s mind and pull that out like that? Umi was convinced that Nozomi probably knew most people better than they knew themselves, and it was frankly disconcerting.

“Even if I do want to change,” Umi said, finally learning that hiding things from the psychic was no use, “I don’t want to make Kotori upset. I don’t even know how everyone else is going to react to this, either… What is Maki going to say?” She hadn’t even thought about the red-haired maestro. She must be just as torn up about the whole situation as anyone. Maki was just always good enough at hiding her true feelings that her being unfazed at all by this seemed like a given, even if that was completely off-base.

Rather than Nozomi’s voice, the next thing Umi heard as she started to bury her face into her hands yet again was the faint flicker of plastic hitting the floor. Pulling her hands back, she looked down and saw the death card sitting face-up on the ground, slowly guiding her eyes up the length of Nozomi’s body to her hand, which was still in the same position as before, but now with an entirely new card.

Pictured on the card was an angel with scarlet rings spread wide across a green landscape, dipping one foot into a pool of water. She couldn’t tell if it was male or female. Maybe angels didn’t have genders to begin with. Nevertheless, it was immensely beautiful, with a reserved smile that showed wisdom more than anything else. Perhaps it was just the unexpected nature of its appearance, but Umi felt strangely comforted by the card’s presence. She felt like the old scene, where she was scared and huddled up in hiding again, had been blown away just as the oft misjudged card number thirteen now was. Some of the angel’s wisdom had filled the room and was now letting her clear her head, just for a moment.

“Temperance,” Nozomi said firmly, drawing Umi’s attention to the name of the fourteenth tarot card which was written on the bottom just as the one before had, “is a card that represents balance and patience. I could have told you this even without the card, but you’re a smart person. I know that if you keep a cool head and a steady hand, you can get through this without tainting what you had before. All is not lost in death.”

Suddenly, yet gracefully, Nozomi spun to her side, reaching her hands up and grabbing Umi’s, fitting the card into Umi’s grasp so that it sat with one corner held under each of her thumbs. One of Nozomi’s hands reached over top of the card and pointed out one of the features printed on it. “You see the angel dipping her feet into the water?” she explained, now plainly excited, “That’s her testing out the water before jumping in… You’ve already tested the water, Umi-chan; now are you going to jump in, or am I going to have to push you?” She was positively beaming, just as she had been the first time she had witnessed Umi and Nico together from her perch in the writer’s chair. This time, now that she understood it a little more, it was hard to say that Nozomi’s cheerful attitude towards the situation wasn’t a small bit infectious.

It was just like going on stage. She had been terrified before, but she couldn’t say that she didn’t have tremendous fun doing it with her friends by her side. All it took to get her to feel more comfortable was Honoka holding one hand and Kotori holding the other. Now, the performance was her meeting with Nico, and Nozomi had taken her hand in a feel swoop, swinging it back and forth with a contagious excitement.

“I-I’ll do it,” Umi said, nodding at Nozomi as she stood up and walked down the hall towards the destination that was written down on the purple-haired girl’s notecard. She was filled with energy after the pep talk, and she had to move fast before she lost her momentum.

“One last thing!” Nozomi called out, prompting Umi to stop in her tracks and turn back, “It’s nothing important, but there is a third reason I wanted to help you out…” She was giving her mildly smug, teasing grin again. “I expect you to write some more love songs now, okay? I can’t handle them all on my own.”

Umi was reminded of the time that Nozomi called her in the middle of the night. Without so much as a hello, she said, “Songwriting advice – broad backs are a thing that straight girls like, right?”

“How am I supposed to know that?” Umi instinctively barked back before realizing exactly what the implications of such a quip were. “No, wait, that’s not what I-” By that time, Nozomi had already hung up. In place of an auditory response, Umi instead received a text message that contained only seven winky faces. When Nozomi attempted to call back a moment later, Umi didn’t answer.

Now, looking back on it, Umi laughed. Everything looked a lot nicer from the future than it did from the present – any hardships or gaffs or fears – and it was important to realize that. One day, she would make sure that the time she spent beating herself up over this was just a flash in the pan, one way or another. It filled her with determination. Giving Nozomi a final nod in confirmation, she made her way once again to her appointed location.

After Umi had finished leaving, Nozomi stood up and sighed. She pulled out another piece of paper and looked at it, muttering to herself, “Now it’s time for Nicocchi…” The appointment on this notecard was in a different location from the one to which Umi was currently heading, and it was timestamped for half an hour later. “I hope Umi-chan doesn’t get mad at me again,” Nozomi continued, “but there was somebody else she needed to speak to first…”

-

“Wait, w-what are you doing here?” Umi stammered, frozen in the doorway, all of the momentum that she had built up on the way there blocked, as if she had run headfirst into a brick wall.

“I wasn’t exactly expecting you either… I take it Nozomi said you were meeting Nico, too? I guess she played us both again.”

Sitting in the empty classroom at a single desk, which had been turned to face the doorway as all the other desks were scattered haphazardly around it, was none other than Maki Nishikino. She was fiddling her hair as usual, with her head turned away from Umi, towards the far window instead. She let out a long and unamused sigh, filling the room with an uncomfortable silence as Umi tried to parse her mind for something to say.

What could she even say in a situation like this? Umi thought the entire point of the pep talk Nozomi gave her was so that she would go into this without losing the energy, so why would she throw her into such a dismal situation? There was nowhere this could possibly go fast. “I’m sorry I kissed your would-be girlfriend in front of you and am now meeting with her in private to confess my feelings to her?” She barely even knew Nico, especially not as well as Maki did. The more she thought about it, the more her steadfast determination that fueled her on until mere moments ago must be a direct insult to the red-locked pianist.

If she was going to be entirely honest with herself, she wasn’t even entirely sure why she liked Nico now, other than the kiss. A part of her knew that thinking that way was shallow, or even worse, just plain lewd. In fact, she wasn’t quite sure what exactly Maki saw in her either. Maki had a bit of a naïve side, definitely, but she was very mature for the most part. She just couldn’t see her getting along with someone who was as boisterous as Nico. So, with a heavy heart, she decided that was as good a place to start as any. “Maki, why do you like Nico?”

She could hear the screech of the chair’s metal legs as it was jammed backwards across the floor. Maki always had such violent reactions whenever she was asked directly about her feelings. Umi wasn’t sure whether that was a sign of her naïveté or a sign of her being too mature. “I-I don’t like…” she stammered for a moment, before freezing in place, staring straight ahead at Umi with her mouth open in the same defensive expression in which she had been speaking.

She didn’t finish her statement, though. Instead, she made a handful of unintelligible utterances before finally letting out a loud, angry groan. Umi had never seen Maki throw a fit this excessive before. It was like she was a clockwork doll, always stalling and sputtering when its gears got clamped together. “Dammit!” Maki cried out, her voice surprisingly loud as it filled the room, prompting Umi to finally step inside and shut the door behind her, “Nozomi knows I respect you too much to lie to your face like that…”

Maki seemed to calm down after letting that out, but she still paused every so often during the rest of her spiel. Whenever Maki turned her gaze away, Umi could swear she could see the gears still spinning. It wasn’t like Maki to be so honest with someone about Nico more than anything, so it was clearly giving her mind a bit of an exercise. “You’re a lot like Nico-chan and you probably don’t even know. You both sat around for so long, acting like you were fine with being alone. You wouldn’t be doing this whole idol thing if Honoka hadn’t dragged you into it…”

Umi stepped forward a little bit, realizing how uncomfortable it was to stand with her back to the door and her hands still cupping the doorknob. “What about you?” she asked, connecting a few of the dots here.

Maki seemed oddly amused by the follow up question. “I’m not like you two. I was dragged into this by Honoka just the same, but I wasn’t alone because I had convinced myself I liked it.” Her eyes were glazed over as she said it, and the jerky mechanical speech had evened out into a slow droll. “I didn’t convince myself of anything. I like being alone. Obviously, I like being here too and performing with all of you, but sometimes I think it’s nice to just sit at a piano for a short break away from everyone else and listen to myself think. I miss it a lot.”

She was right. Umi didn’t feel the same way, and she knew that now, but she also understood the feeling of wanting to be alone, even if she didn’t share it. She was honestly sort of jealous, hearing this from Maki now. She had always been torn between the fear of being lonely and the fear of everyone watching her. The group had been helping her slowly move past the latter fear by taking her out of her comfort zone and being by her side to deal with the stage fright, but she couldn’t help but think that this would all be a lot simpler if she had been able to separate the sensation of being alone from the idea of being lonely.

“Nico-chan is the one person who made me feel different… or well, maybe different isn’t right,” Maki continued talking before Umi had a chance to collect her thoughts, “Nico-chan was the one person who made me feel the same as I was when I was alone, but with someone else. She made me think that we could be alone… together. Whenever I was alone at my piano, or reading a book, or laying in my room, I’d think every once in a while, 'I wish Nico-chan was here to feel this with me.’”

Maki’s words were getting faster. The emotion was beginning to peek through them, as if the curtain was being slowly drawn from onstage and she was going to see the audience that sat on the other side. If she looked hard enough, Umi could see the soft sheen of tears beginning to well up in the corners of her eyes. “Being with Nico-chan made me wish that I could just turn off the rest of the world for a little while and do what I wanted to do without having to worry about what my friends would think, or my fans would think, or my Papa would think…” With this, she clenched her fist and with a sudden, jerky movement, nearly brought it down hard onto the desk. Umi flinched at this, only turning back when she realized she never heard the sound of impact. She saw Maki’s hand hovering in a fist over the table for a moment, having stopped in mid-swing, and slowly being brought down to a rest against the wood.

There was a short and tense silence, but slowly, the atmosphere began to grow softer again. Maki stopped looking away and now looked directly into Umi’s eyes. She couldn’t turn away now. Her cue that it was her turn to speak was when Maki’s fingers stretched out and began softly rapping atop the desk. Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. This pattern repeated three times before Umi was able to put her thoughts into words.

Umi knew how hard it was to deal with the fear of being judged more than anything. If there was anything that helped her, it was having a hand to hold. She had lost count of the times where, no matter what the audience might think of a performance, Honoka had always held out her hand and told her that she believed in her. If there was any one thing Umi could do to help Maki persevere through this mess without hurting their friendship, it would be holding out the same hand. “I’m sure that everyone would support you with whatever you chose to do,” she said, without hesitation.

Maki scoffed, turning away again. It made Umi feel like she had somehow failed. “Maybe, but the fact that we’re having this conversation at all means that I was too late, right?”

There was another long silence. Umi stood still, wracking her brain for something to say that would help Maki feel better, desperate to be the voice of reason that Nozomi had told her she could be. The more and more she thought, however, the more she grew angry. She was angry at herself for not being able to come up with a solution on her own, more than anything. As the rage festered inside of her, she finally came to a boil at the only other person there to be on the receiving end of it.

“Fine!” she snapped, drawing Maki’s eyes to her in surprise at the sudden outburst, “I guess you’re right! I’m not going to stand here and watch you feel sorry for yourself and blame me because you were too scared to say something!” She couldn’t stop herself. She knew that she had been backed into the same pitiful corner herself many times before, but her emotions were too tightly-wound at this point to give way under the soothing touch of empathy. As much as she tried to calm herself down and be rational, she couldn’t even manage to so much as unclench her fists.

Maki sat still, staring wide-eyed at Umi for a moment. It became apparent to Umi in this short frame of time that not many people, if any, had been so harsh with her before. Everyone had always tiptoed around the heiress like she was delicate. She had spent her life praised and coddled. The kid still believed in Santa, for crying out loud! It honestly made her feel even worse for lashing out at her, but that didn’t seem to help to simmer down the ire. If people were afraid of Maki breaking when put under pressure, then Umi was the one who would have a fragile enough sense of self-restraint to do it.

Maki, however, didn’t break. Instead, she met Umi’s intensity with her own to match. “You think I don’t know it’s my own damn fault!?” she shouted, standing up and pushing back her chair, “Of course it is! I was a coward! I was scared, and weak, and stupid!” The two of them continued to stare each other down, until finally, something washed over the room. A wave of tranquility met the two idols, and they unclenched their fists together, even if Umi wasn’t sure exactly what it was that calmed her. Fight fire with fire, they always say.

Maki took the lead now as the first to lower her voice. “I don’t blame you. I’m not even mad at you,” she said, “I just… I’m jealous that you had the strength to speak up for yourself when I couldn’t.” Umi had never thought of herself as necessarily brave. There were too many points in each and every day where her nerves got the better of her. Yet, here was someone who she had just blindly accused of throwing a child’s tantrum telling her that she was someone she looked up to. Was she really that strong?

She felt like she had to be pushed into doing pretty much everything – making friends, being an idol, pursuing love. If she was any strong at all, it was only because she moved with everyone behind her. Maybe what concerned Maki so much was that she couldn’t bring herself to budge even with everyone pushing and pushing. Umi thought of what Nozomi had said earlier, about the angel Temperance testing the waters. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed to her that the red wings of Temperance didn’t belong to her, but to Maki. She was the level-headed one here; Umi was too temperamental, too aggressive. Even if she didn’t realize it, Maki was the one who could possibly keep everyone stable.

“I’m sorry for getting so angry,” she apologized.

Maki pulled something out of her pocket, looking down wordlessly at it for a moment before sighing. She walked, with the clatter of each step filling the empty air of the room, and she grabbed Umi’s wrist, pulling her hand up and forcefully placing the paper inside it. “Here,” she said, looking away again, “I didn’t know what it was before, but now I’m pretty sure I can guess… Nozomi told me to give that to you.” She pulled her hand back, holding it tight against her side.

Umi unfolded the scrap of paper, looking down at the same scratchy handwriting and the same purple ink from earlier. On the top of the page was a scribbled jotting of “for real this time,” and underneath it was a different time and location. It was getting fairly close to this new appointment. She hadn’t realized until right now just how much of her meeting time with Maki had been spent in an awkward hush.

Umi was going to thank her, but Maki interrupted her before she could speak. “Like I said, I respect you a lot,” she was quiet now, a bit embarrassed at having to admit something like that, especially now that they didn’t have the security of half a room between them, “I’m only giving you this because I trust you won’t make the same mistakes I did. Nico-chan deserves that much.”

Umi nodded her head in thanks. This was apparently all the acknowledgement Maki needed, since she turned away afterwards and walked back to the desk that she had set up. She laid her head down on it, looking a bit forlorn. She seemed like she had admitted defeat, and Umi was starting to feel bad again, but she picked herself up before Umi could say anything about it. “Right, right,” she said, shaking her head, “No more self-pity. You already got on my case for that once.”

She continued, seemingly having gained a bit of steam from this. Rather than breaking from her upperclassman’s stern diatribe, she had apparently already started using it to hold herself together. “Listen, one of these days I’m going to be as strong as Nozomi thinks I can be.”

Umi’s response came immediately. “You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Maki let loose a hollow chuckle. “Maybe, but I’m not Nozomi.” She then raised her hand and pointed at Umi, with the same powerful grin as the detective in a murder mystery who had just pegged the killer. “The point is,” she said with almost enough conviction to convince Umi that her confidence was sincere, which was surely the first step to it actually becoming so, “that when that day comes, I’m taking Nico-chan back. Understand?”

Umi felt even more excited than she did before. She now had Nozomi holding one hand, and Maki holding the other. She was starting to feel as strong as she was made out to be. She could feel them pushing, and now all that was left was to move forward. “Understood,” she quipped to Maki, “I wouldn’t expect anything less – we’re both soldiers, after all.”

This time, she had actually managed to wrestle a legitimate laugh from Maki, who waved her out of the door. “If I had known all this was going to happen, I would have kissed you myself,” she joked back, “Now go already! You’re going to be late… and shut the door on the way out.”

Umi didn’t have to be told twice. Getting such an honest laugh out of Maki seemed rare, almost like it was an ordeal. Nico was probably the one person in the world who could do it effortlessly. She was able to bring out the lighter side of people. It wasn’t clear whether she could do it without trying, or whether she was otherwise trying too hard, but the end result was the same. She was a born idol, through and through.

After hearing the click of the door behind the girl who was now filled with purpose, Maki stayed in the room, trying to come to grips with now seemingly having none. Her giggles lasted only a short while longer. Then there was a short moment where she stared down at the desk and collected her thoughts, still tumbling aimlessly through her brain. Finally, she took a deep breath and screamed as loud and as long as she could.

When she left, she shut the door behind her as well.

–

It was always important to arrive fashionably early as far as Nico Yazawa was concerned, which is why she left for the rendezvous point immediately after receiving the information from Nozomi and now found herself pacing back and forth outside of the room in question for half an hour. Glancing up at the clock, she bemoaned the fact that it was apparently still going to be another fifteen minutes before Umi was supposed to arrive. A part of her was pretty sure that the hands on the clock had somehow progressed backwards since the last time she checked. She already had enough problems on her chest without time unraveling itself just to spite her.

She never thought she would regret being able to avoid Nozomi’s smug nagging, but the point stood that if the fortune-teller had gone on one of her usual enigmatic diatribes, that would have at least held off the waiting for another ten minutes or so. As it was, Nozomi had simply handed Nico the slip of paper, delivered a cheerful “good luck,” and wandered off. Nico could safely assume that this meant her speech was already spent on Umi.

Nico tried to keep herself from pacing, but her body simply wouldn’t stop. The incessant pattering of her own footsteps was starting to annoy her. When she looked at the clock, she could hear the ticking and tocking of each passing second slowly digging its way into her mind, which was particularly distressing considering that it was a silent clock.

What was she so nervous about anyway? It wasn’t like this was going to be a difficult conversation. She was simply going to explain to Umi that this whole kiss situation was stupid and they shouldn’t let dumb hormones and tropey shoujo manga pretense cloud their judgment. Umi was surely smart and reserved enough to understand that. In fact, the drill sergeant probably just wanted to say the very same thing herself. After that, the two of them could go their separate ways and continue barely recognizing each other’s presence again. It was a solid plan.

They were both idols, after all, and an idol belonged to everyone. If you belong to everyone, that means you belong to no one. It was common sense. This was a career decision more than anything, Nico assured herself. Steadfast denial was one of the greatest skills Nico possessed. If she was going to continue hiding herself away from her feelings and backing herself into a corner of pitiful loneliness and self-isolation, she was going to do her best to find some way to pretend that it was a positive for her.

Somehow, she had finally managed to stand still for about five seconds straight, which meant she was now desperate for a new thing to do to pass the endless parade of time. Perhaps she could practice her idol poses, or start brainstorming ideas for her new song, or do literally any other thing imaginable other than think about Maki.

She started thinking about Maki.

She started pacing again.

She hadn’t talked to Maki since the argument a few days earlier, which was more out of stubbornness than anything. Nico knew that she would just end up forgiving Maki by the time the weekend was through – or being forgiven, maybe? It was hard to tell anymore who was at fault or even who was wronged and how, if anyone quite was at all. Those were always the worst kinds of arguments because they didn’t even offer Nico the privilege of being self-righteous about them, not for lack of trying.

The kiss with Umi hadn’t been the exact reason for the argument, but it was certainly the catalyst for it. The two of them had been sitting in their usual spot in the music room at the time, with Nico hunkered down against the wall and Maki drowning the room in the soft tones of a song which she had transposed into minor key. The somber sound of the piano was clashing with the bright and beautiful sunlight that was shining in through the window onto Nico. It was warm, but it was also starting to hurt her eyes. Everything in the room seemed to be at odds with each other, in some way.

“Hey,” Nico said, turning away from the window and just barely feeling her words getting caught in her throat as she slowly stumbled her way through what she wanted to say, “How are you feeling about Nozomi’s play?”

Maki’s song stopped once Nico got this bit out, but she still hadn’t turned around or responded, so Nico desperately tried eking out something more to say to clear up the heavy atmosphere. She wasn’t sure what exactly was causing the two of them to be so tense, but she was definitely feeling it. Nico’s next statement, as opposed to the clunky delivery of the initial question, tumbled out in a gushing torrent of words. “I mean, if you still think you can play the part, I wouldn’t want to steal it from you. I shine enough on my own naturally, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to hog the spotlight in the few moments it focuses on someone else, right? Obviously, you’re going to have to practice the kissing scene if you want the part back, but with me as a tutor, there’s basically no way you could mess it up.”

Maki was still silent. When Nico looked up at her, all she saw was the back of her head, her red hair draped down like a curtain that was hiding whatever pained look must have been painted on her face. What was Maki so uncomfortable for? It wasn’t like she hadn’t grown used to Nico’s flirtations by now. “What? You’re not even going to react? What’s the point in teasing you if you’re not even going to get flustered? You’re really killing the fun here, Maki-chan,” Nico pouted.

Maki finally turned around, placing one hand on the piano and filling the room with a clatter of keys. It was clear from the surprised look on Maki’s face that she hadn’t meant to slam the keys that hard, but that very same shocked expression made it difficult to tell at first what her reaction was to the prodding from Nico that had made her turn around in the first place. The one off-tune note rang through the empty air until it finally dissipated enough for Maki to speak up over it, saying, “Nico-chan, please… We both know you’re not just teasing. Just say what you mean.”

Nico stood up suddenly, stomping a foot into the ground with a weak clop. It was a muted clasp that shook through the room with nowhere near the intensity of Maki’s unintentional cacophony. Nico couldn’t help but feel like she had just been one-upped. “Like you’re one to talk about that!” she snapped, placing her hands on her hips and leaning forward to match Maki’s eye-level. She didn’t have to lean down very far, even though Maki was sitting down on the bench, which was simply adding insult to injury. “Everyone knows you like me! Why don’t you just spit it out already? Nobody on the face of the planet has ever been less qualified to lecture about 'saying what they mean!’”

She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but something about the way Maki was stifling herself more than usual was pissing her off. The two of them bickered all the time, of course, but it never got to the point where they were actually so angry at each other as then and there. It happened too suddenly for Nico to restrain herself – in a matter of minutes, they had gone from complete silence to heated confessions.

When she pictured the two of them confessing their feelings for each other, she imagined a candlelit dinner – a real black-tie affair; she was always a hopeless romantic in that respect. Sure, this powderkeg of emotions was never anywhere close to what she had in mind, but given the way the two of them usually operated, it was probably to be expected. At least now it was finally happening, though, right? If she didn’t want to keep sitting around in silence and waiting for Maki to open up to her, she was going to have to force it out, and then they could go on to be the poster couple that everyone knew they were destined to be. Everyone’s number one idol could never settle for anything less than everyone’s number one relationship, after all.

Maki’s response was much faster now, giving Nico barely enough time to think so optimistically of the situation before tearing any of those hopes to the ground. “Everyone knows? How self-centered can you get?” Nico took a pace back, freezing on her heel. She had never seen Maki actually explode like this. “What makes you think you know what I’m thinking?”

Nico was caught off guard. She was losing all the momentum she had in the argument fast. She stammered out a reply, trying to properly assess why Maki was behaving so radically. She took a shot in the dark, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “I-is it about Umi?” she said, her voice sounding smaller to her than she had anticipated, “That was just a dumb joke pulled by Nozomi. It was a prank. It was fake.” She tried not to tear up. “I-I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“Why? Because you’re the only one allowed to be mad? Because the whole world is against you and everyone else has it so easy?” Maki hissed, turning away from Nico and sitting back down at the piano. She made sure to close the lid to the keys so that she could lay down her arms without releasing another horrid wave of sound into the already intense scene, but the loud crash of the wooden lid betrayed her intentions anyway. Even if her words were still mean-spirited, they were spoken with a softer tone. It was clear that she had turned away because she didn’t want to see the smaller girl cry, or perhaps vice versa. “I don’t care about Umi.” Her wavering voice gave away that it was a lie, or at least partially so.

Nico opened her mouth, but nothing came out. It’s because I love you. Over the course of the next day, she couldn’t think of much of anything other than the idea that this argument would have been magically resolved if she had just managed to spit out those five words.

“I’m sorry, Nico-chan,” Maki said, opening the keys on the piano again and playing another song to distract herself. Her fingers were playing all of the correct notes, in spite of all the stress her brain was under right now, but something was still off about the tune. Her voice could only just barely be heard over the reverberating strings as she softly plead, “I want to be alone for a bit.”

Nico replied, “But… we are alone.”

Before Maki could respond, even if it was unclear that she would at all, Nico marched to the door. As she was about to leave the room, she turned back to Maki, who was staring at the keys before her now with dreary eyes. “So you don’t like me, then? Is that it?” She swore she would try to close the discussion without being indignant, but that just wasn’t in her nature.

“It’s not that,” Maki said, stopping the song for a moment, “It’s just…” She didn’t get a chance to finish before Nico shut the door and stormed down the hallway.

Nico always loved how reliable Maki was, but right now it was making her livid. Right now, she was reliably “it’s not that” and reliably “it’s just.” Soon enough, one of them would stop being so headstrong and this argument would just be a flash in the pan and they would go back to being friends like always. Things never changed with her, even if Nico wanted them to. Nothing ever changed even if they both wanted them to.

If the kiss with Umi was the reason that Maki was so upset, it was nothing more than a scapegoat as far as Nico was assured. The first-year would have just found a different reason for keeping herself bottled up if it had never happened. It was always nothing but excuses from everyone. Nico didn’t need to hear any excuses. She had already heard plenty from all of the others that had left her before.

As she stomped down the hall, she tried racking her brain for someone else to turn to. She would usually go to Nozomi, but she was at least partially convinced this was her fault anyway and couldn’t make any promises that she wouldn’t try to punch her smug face in. She felt that Rin and Hanayo weren’t exactly mature enough to handle something as serious as this, and even if they were, they were closer with Maki than they were with her to begin with.

It was amazing how all of the friends she had made over the past year only served to make her feel sorrier for herself, and Nico didn’t exactly need any more help with that. She was already a natural expert in feeling sorry for herself. If she didn’t feel like she could turn to them now, then what was the point? It was like they had already abandoned her, even if they were still by her side.

She made a sudden, jerky turn in the middle of the hallway, bursting open the door to the restroom and storming inside. She placed her hands on the edge of the sink and looked into the mirror. Looking into the mirror, she took note of her ugly scowl that was stained across her face. Mainly, however, the most important feature of her expression – something that she couldn’t feel and had to see to properly witness – was the way that her eyes glazed over.

Her eyes weren’t sad, so much as they were hollow. The rich hues of fiery red were offset by the dreary white that surrounded them. She felt that if she closed her eyes, she ran the risk of them being just an empty white when she opened them again. It was as if a part of herself was stolen from her. This is how it always felt to be left behind. Nobody had the common decency it seemed to just go and be gone; they needed to bring a trophy with them.

She huffed. Once again, just as she had every time before, she stubbornly vowed that she wouldn’t let anyone get close to her again. After all, the only person who was always going to be there for her was herself, and if she kept letting people run off with her pieces, soon enough she wouldn’t even have that. The only safe bet in life was to stay alone.

She wasn’t going to be abandoned again.

–

Looking back on these bitter memories, Nico sat with her chin buried in her hands at a desk inside of the rendezvous room and sighed, finally figuring that standing outside the room in order to look cool when Umi showed up wasn’t worth the sheer boredom. She hadn’t considered the very real possibility that classrooms are actually just as boring as hallways, if not more so. She was only growing more and more impatient. She had already ruined one potential relationship this Valentine’s Day weekend, and she was more than ready to do it again.

When Umi came into the room, Nico lifted her head in a bit of surprise. She wasn’t expecting the late arrival (Five minutes ahead of schedule is considered “late” in some circles.) to look so adamant upon her entry. She had a spark in her eyes and her breath was slow and coarse, as if she had just sprinted all the way there. Nico was drawn to that spark. She knew that when she had finished with her plan of tearing this whole thing apart, the spark would be the piece of Umi that she stole.

Thinking of herself as a villain made this whole thing a lot easier. A sinister grin spread across her lips as she waved a hand in the air, quipping, “Well, it took you long enough. You’d think if you were here to confess your love to me, it’d be a bit more urgent. It’s not like you to do things so half-hearted.”

She had run through this spiel over and over in her head before Umi arrived, so now that she was saying it out loud it all felt a bit forced. Of course, that’s to be expected from a stage personality. Stage actors need to be over-the-top so that everyone in the crowd can feel the emotion; the intimacy of a one-on-one performance wasn’t something for which Nico ever felt she needed to account.

Her eyes weren’t even on Umi anymore. She was rolling her head back and staring off into a corner of the room as she delivered her final tough-guy one-liner, “That is what you’re here for, right? Because if it is, then this is just a waste of both of our times.” After baring the last well-crafted words of her mental script to her surely captive audience, she turned and looked her straight in the eyes with a serious expression. In hindsight, it would have been better if she had been standing, but she would still be shorter than Umi either way, which was a pain. She needed to appear big with her words, not with her actions.

To her surprise, though, Umi still stood steadfast. She had barely even seemed to flinch when Nico was being cold to her, which took even more of the sting off of the delivery. It wasn’t fair. She had put a lot of thought into that and here Umi was making it all go to waste.

“Yes,” Umi responded firmly, “I like you.”

Nico was silent for a moment, stunned. She hadn’t expected her to be so bold like this. She was so used to Maki’s constant denials and roundabouts that the idea of someone actually confessing in simple terms baffled her. Hadn’t Umi always gotten flustered whenever the topic of romance came up before, anyway? She was supposed to be shy and probably not even have the nerve to confess in the first place if Nico acted haughty enough to scare her off. That would have been so much easier.

With Nico’s plans spoiled by Umi’s unanticipated demeanor, she got indignant, standing up now and stepping around the desk. “Weren’t you listening to me?” she said, “I said I’m not interested.”

Getting closer, she was able to see that Umi was appearing to lose some of her nerve after all. It was reassuring. “Please,” Umi said, still keeping straight, “Give me one chance. I’m serious about this, and I think you feel the same… a little.” The growing space between her words was starting to betray her phony semblance of obstinacy. She should have known better than to try this stunt before Nico, who was a master in the art of feigning a cocksure attitude. She was too experienced to be fooled so easily.

Nico was starting to gain traction in the conversation again. It felt like it had been too long since she had the upper hand in an argument that it took every ounce of her self-restraint not to act cocky… and it didn’t work because, admittedly, there wasn’t very much self-restraint to be had with her. “Oh, really?” she said, “We’ve never even had a real conversation before. What are some of the things you like about me?”

Umi started going down the list and it didn’t take a whole lot of rationalization for Nico to figure that she didn’t really mean most of it. “You’re always determined with what you want.” You’re a bitch. “You can always make people smile.” You’re a laughingstock. “People say that we have a lot in common.” I couldn’t say what myself, though. “And, well… You’re a good… kisser.” The way that Umi looked down and went red in the face during this last part meant that it was authentic, at the very least. For some reason, this single justification didn’t exactly fill Nico with pride on the matter.

“So, basically,” Nico scoffed, turning up her chin and crossing her arms defiantly, “You like me because Nozomi says that you should, right? Honestly, if she’s so eager to speak for me, you should have just asked her out for me instead of making me stand here and listen to you lying to yourself.”

Umi stammered out her next two words quickly. “I-I’m not…” Her voice trailed off afterwards, as if she couldn’t bear to finish the statement. Her mouth hung open for just a moment. That was one thing that was different with Maki; Maki was always hiding her feelings, but she was never as ashamed of it as Umi was. Umi wouldn’t be able to deny it if accused. “I’m not lying” were not the words that Nico expected to hear next. In fact, she didn’t know what words she did expect, but the ones that ended up finally wrestling themselves past Umi’s lips and onto the open air wasn’t quite it either.

“I’m not… afraid of taking a chance for a silly reason.”

It was like a switch was flipped in Nico’s brain. The grandiose performance gave way to something else. Nico wasn’t like someone like Kotori, who wore one mask, but wore it so well that it was almost indistinguishable from reality. Nico simply had so many masks that even if you removed one layer, there would just be another underneath. None of them were convincing, but after a while, it still became hard for even Nico herself to tell where the masks ended and reality began. Umi’s words were a magic spell that revealed a rare opportunity for Nico Yazawa to finally reveal her true feelings.

She was pissed.

She rushed forward, forcing Umi to step back into the wall with a wince of discomfort. “You’re not afraid?! What is that supposed to mean? You said you were taking this seriously!” Her voice filled the room, so loud that someone was likely to hear outside if there were anyone around. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes and she had to get out of there before she started sobbing or punched a hole in the wall. “You’re just like them! You jump into something without thinking and you leave when it’s too tough! Taking a chance? If you think I’m nothing more than a 'chance,’ then do me a favor, and never speak to me again.”

She placed a hand on Umi’s shoulder and shoved her to the side, out of the way of the door. She fiddled with the knob for a moment, jerking it too hard at first for the door to cleanly open. She screamed, loudly, as she finally forced it ajar and stomped outside, slamming it shut behind her and leaving Umi in the room alone.

–

The rest of the day after her explosion was nothing more than a blur to Nico. When she arrived at school the next morning, she felt like a zombie. It wasn’t like she was ever a particularly vigilant student before, but those classes were even more of a haze than ever before. Even if she tried to listen, the words that came out of the teacher’s mouth wouldn’t reach her. It was as if her anger was actually burning up the air around her. The only thing she remembered from the hours was the sound of her pencil against her desk, and finally, the soft crunch that came when she pressed it down until it snapped in two.

After leaving the classroom, she saw the first friendly face of the day, or at least what would have been so if Nico felt she had any friends left. “What do you want?” She hissed at Nozomi, who was leaned against the wall on her way to the rooftop for practice.

“I’m a bit surprised you’re still going to practice,” Nozomi said, “I guess you’ve always been serious about being an idol, huh?” She was obviously lying. If she didn’t expect Nico to show up, then why was she waiting to ambush her? Nico wasn’t that stupid. She didn’t exactly have the heart to respond with such venom, though, especially since Nozomi’s usually jovial nature was petered out. Her quips had no passion behind them anymore, like she was reading from a script.

Great. She broke Nozomi. That’s just one more thing she had to be proud of today.

“Who told you?” Nico griped. Nozomi always knew too much, so she wasn’t surprised that she was ready to confront her about the recent developments. Being expected didn’t make it any less annoying, though. Nico just wanted everyone to shut up for a day or two… or three… or forever. Was that too much to ask?

Nozomi’s response was also expected. “The cards.” Nico didn’t press any further.

Nico stood still for a moment with her hands balled into fists, waiting for Nozomi to continue with some sort of stupid consolation or dumb joke that she had mistakenly convinced herself was sage wisdom. There was only silence until she finally spoke up herself instead. “What? Cat got your tongue? Are you going to say something or are you going to keep standing there and wasting my practice time? This whole stupid mess is your fault anyway.”

Nozomi glanced aside, stepping forward and walking past Nico, heading towards the roof. “I know…” she said, letting the words hang there for a moment. Nico needed a moment for those words to settle down anyway, since she was never prepared for Nozomi to show such modesty. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for pushing you into this.” From behind, Nico couldn’t see Nozomi’s face as she continued walking over to the stairs that lead to their practice area. Even when apologizing, she always had to try and act cool, it seemed.

Nico let Nozomi disappear out of sight before she finally stomped to the roof behind her.

Practice that afternoon was a disaster, of course. Umi was having trouble keeping time for her dancing instruction. At one point, when Nico messed up a move, she heard the drill sergeant call her name and then there was an awkward silence for a moment as everyone just froze. “You… were off beat.” Her scolding was quiet. Hesitantly, everyone began the next step after that.

Later on, Maki and Nico both retired to grab their water bottles together. Maki stopped in front of Nico for a moment, like she was going to say something, and Nico just glared at her. They hadn’t spoken since the argument, after all. What would make Maki think that she had any right to try and be there for her now? In the end, Maki said nothing, turning and finding her spot in the dance line-up again.

After practice, Nico saw Rin and Hanayo whispering to each other and she knew it was about her. She saw Nozomi and Eli sharing their usual playful banter, but she also saw the way that Eli frowned whenever Nozomi turned away, sensing all too well that Nozomi was still feeling the same self-pity Nico witnessed earlier. She tried not to look at Umi, but she still saw her standing near the door with Kotori placing a hand on her shoulder and offering a supportive smile. Nico almost scoffed at the fact that Kotori’s seemed to be the only smile on that rooftop that was actually real, if not for the reason it was supposed to be.

Nobody wanted to be the draw attention to themselves by being the first to leave, but soon enough, Rin either realized it was probably safer than being the last to leave or else was just ignorant of the tense atmosphere entirely. Often, whenever Rin made a good decision, it was hard to tell whether or not it was on purpose or a dumb accident. She started prancing to the door with Hanayo in tow, and before she left, she peaked behind and called Maki to walk with them. Since she was one of the key players in the debacle, Maki was clearly thankful for being given this opportunity to make a clean escape.

With the floodgates finally opened, Eli and Nozomi were the next ones to go, followed by Honoka, who was standing with Kotori and Umi and at least attempting to help console the latter. Nico was farthest from the door, and now the remaining second-years were sitting down right next to it. She would have to walk right past them and look down on them in order to leave. They simply weren’t playing fair.

When she snuck a passing glance over at Umi, she saw the same empty look in her eyes that she had after being rejected by Maki. She had stolen that spark, right? It was supposed to be her prize. If so, then where was it? She sure didn’t feel like she gained anything from this.

Nico had convinced herself that in situations like this, someone had to be the winner. If cutting people down didn’t make you the winner, why would anyone do it? Why did Maki do it? It was a bizarre logic, but it was one that let her rationalize away the burning feeling in her gut that Maki didn’t have anyone to turn to either. She had her own problems, so why should she have to help the kid who rejected her? The world kept heaving expectations on her and she was very quickly getting sick of it. It seemed, nobody could ever simply let her play the victim like she wanted.

“Okay, listen,” she shouted, cutting through the dense and crushing atmosphere that had spread between the three of them. She saw Umi lift up her head in surprise, looking up at Nico as Kotori followed suit. “I’m tired of everyone acting like this. We started this stupid argument and we’re going to finish it!”

Both of the others stood up, with Kotori standing right beside the door. “Should I leave you two alone?” she asked. It was pretty obvious from her tone that she really wanted the answer to be no. If the world was fair about anything right now, though, it was that it was equally unfair to everyone. Receiving a silent nod from Umi, Kotori was very quickly gone.

In spite of her big talk, being alone with the same girl she lashed out at just the other day made Nico freeze up a little. Umi was actually the first to speak up. “I’m sorry,” she said, looking at Nico from across the wide rooftop, barely audible from the distance. When she continued, she raised her voice a little more. “You were right. I wasn’t taking you seriously.”

“No, you’re wrong.” It took Nico a lot more modesty than she had to admit she was wrong. If she framed it like she was still correcting someone, it made it a bit easier to swallow her exceptional pride. “I could tell you were taking it seriously. You’re always so serious.”

Umi answered, “No, I wasn’t.” Weren’t they supposed to be apologizing? This was quickly just turning into another argument. She was almost as stubborn as Maki. In a lot of ways, she reminded Nico too much of Maki sometimes. “I was serious about finding… someone. I wasn’t treating you seriously. I wanted to find something special because I was in a rut and because people were telling me to stand up for myself on my own for once. I was too stupid to realize how much you must have been hurt before… by people like me.”

“So, do you still like me?” Nico asked.

“Yes,” Umi replied, “More than before, probably.”

“Probably?” Nico said, holding her chin up a bit. She was still acting haughty even though the all the anxieties of the past day had already started to break down her defenses. “Do you still want to take a chance, then?”

Umi hesitated. “I… wouldn’t say it like that.” That much was obvious, considering she already saw that it made Nico furious. “But yes.” The confidence she had from her confession yesterday seemed to be returning. “Please give me a second chance to redeem myself.”

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, there was a lot that Nico liked about Umi already. All the little things that reminded her of Maki were cute, of course, but there were plenty of unique bits, too. Umi could tell when someone wanted something, and she was strict when they didn’t take their own goals seriously. When Honoka wanted to be an idol, Umi kept her focused through the tough training sessions. When they needed to study, Umi forced them to stay on track. When they were dieting, Umi guided them through the rigorous exercise regimen. There was never a moment where Umi felt calm watching someone else fail. Whenever Nico tried to be a leader like that, she just ended up scaring people away. If Umi was promising to take her relationship with Nico seriously, then she would follow through all the parts that nobody else would or could.

Plus, she wasn’t a bad kisser herself.

Nico looked at Umi, standing there firmly. She was a bit surprised that she didn’t bow to beg for forgiveness. Nico had already swallowed her pride and apologized for getting angry, anyway, so it wasn’t as if Umi even needed to be apologized. Nico, however, wasn’t quite ready to say that out loud. True to form, she acted cocksure of herself to the very end. She stammered, “F-fine. You get one chance.”

Umi couldn’t hide the big smile that spread across her face, as much as she was obviously trying. Nico couldn’t think of the last time she saw Umi so jubilant. “Jeez, calm down,” she riled, walking a bit closer, slowly, “I know I’m a great catch, but…” She didn’t finish her statement, only letting her face give in to a small grin as well.

Umi nodded, recomposing herself. “So… a date?”

Nico nodded in return. “Tomorrow. Valentine’s Day, after Nozomi’s play.” In all the confusion, she had almost forgotten about the play entirely. Right now, though, it seemed like the perfect set-piece for their plans. She waved her hand at the door. “Now go, we have to make chocolate still, right? Let’s not risk killing the mood again.”

This seemed like a good way to end the discussion. Umi agreed, delivering a final “see you then,” and excitedly strolling off of the rooftop with Nico following behind. There was only one exit, so they both realized that it was a little awkward to follow each other out after closing their conversation so neatly. They parted ways as soon as they could. They both needed to get ready, after all. Nico in particular always liked to make hand-made chocolates, so she didn’t have a lot of free time before the day was over. This was especially true since she had a few special extra batches to make.

–

She arrived early on the day of the play, making her way to the shoe lockers and quickly finding the one she was looking for. If Umi was going to take this date between them seriously, then so was she, and that meant making preparations. None of them were necessarily preparations for the two of them, but for other people. She needed to fix some of the damage she had done already.

So, she dug into her bag to find the chocolate with the note labeled “I’ll see you at the usual spot on Monday,” and she left it sitting in Maki’s locker. Some other friendships that day might be a little harder to mend, but at least Maki was simple. One of them just had to bite the bullet and be the first to stop being pig-headed.

That left her to go see her problem child, now. It was going to be a bit difficult, considering she had actually probably spoken to her even less so than Umi. Plus, Umi was, for all intents and purposes, an open book. She couldn’t hold a poker face to save her life. The person she was meeting now was more precarious to deal with, and Nico got the feeling that even then she was probably underestimating how complex she was a lot of the time. Nevertheless, she had her speech planned out and she wasn’t going to chicken out now.

On her way there, however, she was interrupted by someone else entirely. “Good morning, Nicocchi!” Nozomi was standing in the hall down the ways from the clubroom, right on Nico’s path to meet the person she had actually called there that morning. Of course she was there early, too. Nico expected this much. It was a bit hard to stay mad at her when she saw that the bright, self-assured grin that she usually always wore had returned. Either that, or it was exceptionally easy to stay mad. It was actually a bit hard to tell.

Nico sighed, reaching back into the bag of chocolates and pulling out a small bag for Nozomi. “Here you go,” she said, tossing them through the air so that Nozomi caught them, “I was going to give them before the play, but I guess you decided to show up early.”

“Well, someone seems cheerful,” Nozomi teased, even though Nico had really looked nothing of the sort, “What? Do you have a hot date tonight or something? Or maybe you’re just excited to appear in the most thrilling theatrical masterpiece of the past decade.” To be honest, Nico still had trouble remembering some of her lines. By the time she finished the chocolates yesterday, she had almost completely forgotten that she needed to learn a new part for the play, let alone cared about it much in the first place. Nobody was probably going to show up anyway, and as bad an actor as she ended up being, it would be fine because basically everyone else was ten times worse.

Nico finally let her poker face break a little, smirking at the psychic. “I take it 'the cards’ told you again?” She held one hand on her hips as Nozomi laughed in response. “Or maybe it’d be cleverer to say that a little birdie told you.”

“Of course,” Nozomi said, “I take it you’re going to go talk to the cards yourself right now, right? She’s in the clubroom right now. Good luck, Nicocchi.” She walked past Nico with a wave goodbye. She just had to rub it in that she knew everything, didn’t she? Nico obviously already knew she was in the clubroom; she was the one who asked her to be there. As obnoxious as her last few encounters with her only senior in the group had been, at least they were short.

Still, it was a bit nice to see she wasn’t still beating herself up.

Two chocolates down, two to go.

After finishing her walk to the clubroom, she saw the friendly face of Kotori Minami sitting in her desk. “Hello,” she chirped, looking a bit gloomy. Her shoulders were slumped and her hair was a bit messy, but she was still smiling, at least. It would take a lot more to break Kotori’s friendly demeanor than this.

Nico cut to the chase, walking over to the desk and pulling out a bag of chocolates. She set it down in front of Kotori, who looked down at it for a moment, a bit surprised. “Thanks, Nico-chan,” she said, looking up at her and tilting her head, looking cute. It would’ve been stupid to expect the famed Minalinsky of being anything less than professional at looking cute, after all.

“You don’t have to take them, you know,” Nico said, trying not to look her in the eyes, “You can say that you don’t need any pity chocolates. It’s what I would think if I were you.” She had her arms crossed, sneaking passing glances at the other girl, who was still sitting there silently for a moment. The smile on her face had twisted downwards, though, into a reserved frown. Her face was still soft even as she gave in; Nico had expected her to be a bit angrier, but maybe she was just projecting.

Nico took a deep breath, continuing with the lines she had planned out for herself the other day. She already knew this speech better than her script from the play. “When Umi gives you her chocolates later today, they aren’t going to be pity chocolates. They’re going to be for the same reason that she gives them to you every year.” Nico actually had no clue if Umi gave chocolates at all; she felt this was a pretty safe bet, though. “Because you’re special to her, and because she’s loyal. If you’re sad, you don’t have to keep hiding it. You can turn to her. If you’re angry, then…” She groaned a little, motioning to the little baggie. “… you can throw those away and take it all out on me. I’m used to it by now.”

Finishing up, she turned around and started to leave. That was all she wanted to say, anyway. Three chocolates were down, and all that was left was-

“Nico-chan!”

She turned around, surprised to hear Kotori’s voice calling her name from across the room, especially so loud. She was standing now, with her hands clenched at her side. Nico could see tears in her eyes as she fought out the words. “How do you know her so well already?” she said, the tiniest hint of anger showing through, “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”

Nico stood still, waiting for Kotori to finish taking it out on her. Kotori lurched forward towards her, but to Nico’s surprise, the larger girl wrapped her arms around her and pressed her into her body, holding her tight. She was sobbing now.

Nico wasn’t quite sure what to do. Anger was something that she could have handled, but she wasn’t exactly prepared to offer comfort to someone who didn’t know very well like this. It also didn’t help that Kotori was probably a few inches taller than her. This sympathy hug would be a lot less awkward if her face wasn’t being pressed into her boobs. Instead of risking saying anything stupid, she reached her hands up and held them on Kotori’s back, letting her cry it out. It was what Umi would do, right?

The whole thing took a lot longer than she would have thought, but Kotori finally let go, backing off and wiping her eyes clean with the back of her hand. “Thanks,” she said, walking back to the desk and picking up the bag of chocolates.

“They’re the same kind that Maki likes,” Nico said, trying to drown out a little bit of the tension, “with cherries in them.”

There was another long pause before Kotori wrapped her fingers around the bag of chocolates, turning back to Nico. “I’m sorry,” she said, quietly, “No offense, but I’m not sure I plan on eating them. Good luck on your date.”

Nico nodded with approval. “Good luck with your play, director.” Her exit from the room was more drawn-out than she had hoped, but she at least could tell there was a little bit of closure between the two of them.

–

“Alright, alright! Let’s move it, people!”

Eli was standing in her costume, barking orders from behind the stage as people started filing into the auditorium. She was only a bit part in the play, which was strange, considering she was a better actor than basically everyone else, including Nico, but Nozomi had elected to give her primary stagehand duty instead.

“Elicchi,” Nozomi said softly, “The audience can hear you. Just relax, and you can wash away the stress after the show.” Some of the others let out a chuckle as Eli blushed, griping at Nozomi for embarrassing her like that. Nozomi just chuckled as she walked through the rest f the cast, giving them a pat on the back (or the breasts, in some cases…) and wishing them her final good luck as she made her way back outside to the front row of seats.

When the curtains opened, the audience was spread out here and there throughout. The auditorium wasn’t sold out by any means, but the girls were still the school’s incredibly popular idols, after all. Anything with their name attached to them had a little bit of popular appeal. At least some people in the crowd probably thought this was actually going to be a concert.

Umi was the only one on stage at first, with Kotori’s voice ringing over the speakers from where she stood narrating behind the set. “Once upon a time, years and years ago, there was a little princess and she was very sad, for her mother and father had died…”

Thus began the biggest disaster in theatrical history. It was almost impressively bad.

People were laughing and jeering in the crowd, not the least of whom was Nozomi herself, who Nico was almost surprised didn’t bring any actual tomatoes to throw at them. She knew this was going to be a trainwreck from the beginning. Whenever Nico glared at her for laughing, she would shout, “Don’t stare at the audience, Nicocchi! Look at your girlfriend!” and the audience would get even more riled up. Most of the group’s acting was wooden, except for Hanayo, who delivered a perfectly heart-wrenching spiel… too quietly for anyone in the audience to hear her.

When the show’s main attraction – the kissing scene – finally came, it was already an unsalvageable wreck, but at least everyone still seemed to be having a good time. Umi was walking towards stage left, while Nico and Honoka stayed on the opposite side for a moment. The way it was written, Nico was supposed to chase her down and stop her before she left the scene to kiss her, but Umi had always started walking away too fast and had to stop herself to walk in place before the other two finished their lines.

“Prince Nicocchi,” said Honoka, patting Nico on the back, doing a goofy old-man voice, “You have to stop her, before it’s too late. Go. Kiss her. Right on her lips. With tongue.” Cue a laugh from the audience.

“Okay, grandpa,” Nico said, doing the same deep voice that she had kept up throughout the play. She figured that if it was going to be bad already, she might as well do a silly voice, too. She still couldn’t top Honoka. Turning away and running up to Umi, she reached out to grab her arm. She missed at first, meaning Umi had to hold it out for her to grab again.

After delivering the rest of their heartfelt clichés, the kiss went off even better than before. They were both obviously nervous doing this in front of everyone else, especially considering all that they had been through the previous day, but once they had closed the distance, it magically felt natural again. It was still a soft, simple kiss – Nico wasn’t this comfortable on stage enough to follow Grandpa Honoka’s advice entirely – but it was as passionate as a soft, simple, tongue-less kiss could be. Nico felt Umi’s hands fall into place on her hips, unlike the first one, as she wrapped hers around to the small of her back. It was like they had something to prove with this second attempt.

With that, the last piece fell into place, and the tension from the past day’s argument was lifted away. Nozomi stood up to clap, and the audience cheered along with her as the two girls on stage separated from each other. Umi was beet red, staring down at the X taped on stage that was still there from another performance; Nozomi wasn’t taking this seriously enough to do her own blocking, so she just stole the routine from another play from people who were actually qualified. People were clapping backstage as well. Even Honoka was clapping, which made Nico shoot a few daggers at her considering she was still on stage, but Honoka didn’t seem to pay any mind, giving her an exaggerated thumbs-up.

“After their kiss, which lasted just a bit too long,” Kotori narrated over the slowly dying applause of the audience, prompting another giggle here and there, “The prince and princess decided to get married and lived happily ever after. The end.” The closing act of this script was a bit abrupt for Nico’s sensibilities as an author, but as a person who wanted to get off stage as soon as possible, it was perfect. Nozomi was a writing genius.

Umi and Nico stayed on stage for just a little longer, though, as everyone else walked out and grabbed each other’s hands for the final bow, receiving a loud applause from the crowd as people started to shuffle out of the auditorium. A group of people came up to the stage to congratulate them for a job poorly done. Honoka was particularly excitable, jumping up and down in a way not resembling an old man in the slightest, hugging all their loyal fans with zeal, with Rin following close behind.

“Listen, not that this isn’t fun and all,” Nico said, coming up behind Nozomi, “but I have more important places to be.”

Nozomi chuckled. “Elicchi already left for her spa day. Have fun.”

Leaving her behind, Nico found Umi standing nearby, talking with Kotori. They seemed to be talking like normal still, which was encouraging, but it also made it hard for her to spoil the good mood that she’d established with Kotori in order to break the two of them apart again. It was hard, but not impossible. “Umi,” Nico said, walking up between them, “I’m ready to go if you are. I have something to give you, too. Be glad; I don’t give presents to just anyone.” She pulled out the chocolates and handed them over, looking proud.

Umi took the bag of chocolates, smiling for a moment before turning to Kotori. “I’m sorry,” she said, realizing it was probably insensitive to be flirting like this in front of her, “I guess we have somewhere to go.” She was quiet then, eager to see how Kotori was reacting and if she was holding herself up.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kotori said with a lilting singsong, “Have fun, Umi-chan.” She then turned to Nico and nodded as well, walking off to leave the new couple alone together.

“Well,” Nico said, with joking indignity, “You don’t want to make me wait, right?” At Nico’s continued insistence, the two of them snuck away from the rest of the crowd to go out for their first trial date. Umi made sure that she waited until after dinner to give Nico the chocolates she had bought, too; she didn’t want to spoil it.

–

After everyone had finished cleaning up and left, Nozomi was sitting in the front row, lazing back. She saw Kotori carry out some props from backstage to take back to the clubroom. “Kotori-chan!” she called out, cheerfully, “A big success! Your costumes looked great from the audience, as always!”

Kotori smiled, stepping down from the stage. She giggled, “Those seats sure are comfortable, aren’t they? It’s hard to remember since we’re the ones onstage so much.”

Nozomi reclined a little, looking up at her partner in crime for the atrocity that just took place on that stage. “I might stay here the rest of the day if the school would let me. It’s nice to have a break every once in a while. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?”

Kotori grinned, handing Nozomi the props she was carrying. “Actually, if you’re going to be here a bit longer, could you take those back to the room. I don’t want to be late for my appointment.”

“Appointment?”

Kotori spun around, hooking her hands behind her back and shambling playfully towards the door. “I’m going to the spa. I heard Elicchi was there, and I still have to keep our promise from earlier.” By the time Nozomi had a chance to react, standing up and dropping the pieces to the floor with a clang from a plastic sword, Kotori had already left the room.


End file.
